i just wanna soil my oats bro
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
