Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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