My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
