Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's get the cat blown out
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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