I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
