your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
