You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My vagina is officially offended.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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