Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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