it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
