I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
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