woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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