Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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