we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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