You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
