ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
