My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize