Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
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