three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
