I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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