The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
