Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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