she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
