Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
