You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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