We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
