Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
