Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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