Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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