remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
