i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
