we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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