I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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