Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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