The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
