so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
