i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
