If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
