I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Dicks are not precious.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
