no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
