We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
