ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There's always time for handjobs
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
