is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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