There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
