dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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