I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
