You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
