I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize