hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Randomize
