she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
