Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
