with your own penis?
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
