New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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