I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
