Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Hippo gnu deer
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
