That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize