I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize