If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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