u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm like, not good at living.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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