whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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