dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
