Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
