I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
