Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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